All articles containing: "ID"

REALaxe

This just reeks of more government overreach. First our IDs, now our axes? Where will it end? Also, I know it's been a bit. I've been climbing Mt. Everest, or maybe just scratching my ass....(Click to see more)

Posted: Jun. 16, 2025

Adult Cuisine

Anyone remember "Kid Cuisine?" Well, you've grown up, and so have they. No longer just corn nibblins and a dry brownie, new Adult Entrees™ provide the dubious meat and questionable vegetables the mo...(Click to see more)

Posted: Dec. 03, 2021

Setting Expectations Early

Sometimes, everyone has a bad day. It's the job of parents everywhere to let kids know that nothing's ever so bad that it couldn't possibly be worse. Thus, we turn to the old standards that we all rea...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jan. 02, 2021

What's chappening?

Tis the season to be jolly, for sure, but jolliness is in short supply this year, and the data is in. A recent survey finally got to the bottom of what we call "America's Holiday Chafe," and the answe...(Click to see more)

Posted: Dec. 22, 2020

Nog! The Musical

It's a musical about the world's, like, 2nd or 3rd favorite holiday beverage. With such rousing numbers as "ask not for whom the egg nogs," and "nearer my nog to thee," this passionate off-off-off Bro...(Click to see more)

Posted: Dec. 04, 2020

Black Friday Bingo 2020

It's Black Friday once again. The global pandemic may impact the day where usually retailers get out of the red, and into the black, but that doesn't mean that we can't play bingo with the news. Where...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 27, 2020

Shanksgiving!

It's that time of year again. Family gatherings still happen, and sometimes, the stress of being with family can drive a man to do heinous deeds. This Thanksgiving, you'll be dying to see what Uncle C...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 26, 2020

Need For BEEF!

Coming soon to PlayStation 5: the high-impact, adrenaline-pumping, cattle-driving game of high stakes, and high-impact action! Take control of one of dozens of cowboys, vaqueros, ranchers, or rustlers...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 21, 2020

Reality TV is BACK!

Coming this fall, to FOX television: what happens when you put 10 horny strangers on an island full of booze and drugs? Well, exactly what you'd expect, but this time, the catch is that one of them se...(Click to see more)

Posted: Apr. 20, 2020

Freestyle Manscaping

We've all been there. You're bored, been cooped-up in the house for who even knows how long, and you just finished shaving your face, and are ready to jump in the shower, when you look down, and wonde...(Click to see more)

Posted: Apr. 14, 2020

Ol' Quentin

Okay, okay. This is real dumb, but hey, what can you do? I'm just trying to have a little fun here. Get off my back! ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Apr. 04, 2020

Corona Virus Names

It's an outbreak! A global pandemic! Shit's getting cray (possibly even cray-cray) out there, and people are being locked down and quarantined. However, I swear people are calling this disease, offici...(Click to see more)

Posted: Mar. 23, 2020

Sustainable Gifts

Do you want to buy gifts for your friends and family, but don't want the gluttonous consumerism of the season lead you to buy against your values?

Well, all these gift suggestions really respect th...(Click to see more)

Posted: Dec. 15, 2018

Labor Day Fun!

What to do this Labor Day?
Read on and find out!...(Click to see more)

Posted: Sep. 03, 2018

Thrill of the Tax

Coming soon for the XBone, the tale of a secret order of accountants who have exerted their influence over history for centuries. You take the role as chief accountant, and are sworn to undertake dang...(Click to see more)

Posted: May. 25, 2018

A Well-Balanced Breakfast

Is your morning meal getting boring? Are you tired of the same old thing, over and over again? Well, the Cap'n™ has just the thing! It's positively crawling with flavor and goodness that's very much...(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 08, 2018

Super effective...

We all know someone like this. Fresh out of jail, or out of a terrible relationship, or a long stretch of something bad. Has a new boyfriend who wears stained wifebeaters year-round, calls her affecti...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 29, 2017

Frosty wants to see

You tell me what the more compassionate energy option is: the one that saved Frosty from a lifetime of disability and shame, or the one that killed him without remorse, like he were a common orangutan...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 26, 2017

Bottom 10 gift ideas

In a recent poll of retail workers in the United States, these items were found to have the worst sales and/or highest return for non-replacement figures in the entire shoppingverse. Be advised when y...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 25, 2017

Black Friday 2017

It's that time of year again, when shopping gets to be a life-or-death struggle. Count the chills, thrills, spills, and kills as the news rolls along, cataloguing the mayhem and carnage of people in s...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 24, 2017

Bux Cup

So, Starbucks has finally figured out how to release a holiday cup which will not end in any controversy. They picked a design that cannot possibly offend anyone of any religious tradition at all. It'...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 21, 2017

HURR DURR

I don't like to talk about politics. At all. Ever. Especially publicly. Nobody gives a fuck what anyone's political views are. However, do not confuse this for a political post, despite the fact that ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 18, 2017

Old Folks' Hole.

Most people love, or at least don't hate, their older relatives, be they grandparents, aunts, uncles, or whomever. Spending time with the older generation is a tradition, and many enjoy sharing storie...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 17, 2017

Burger conundrum

I had this idea that a cut disk of pizza could serve as a perfect replacement for all the standard-method garnishes usually found on a burger. Onions, tomatoes, mushrooms... they could all be added in...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 11, 2017

Shady Daycares

Child raising has many trials and tribulations. What do you feed them so they're the most healthy? How much Dora the Explorer is safe for any one creature, and is what she's exploring safe for childre...(Click to see more)

Posted: Sep. 27, 2017

Dealing With Police

There's a lot of talk these days about law enforcement officers and their conduct. Some people say that a smart citizen knows their rights, and brings them up frequently when addressed by police. But ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Aug. 02, 2017

The bird!

It seems to be a standby. Regardless of age, race, gender, or economic background, there's always that one person who thinks it's a good idea to flip off the camera. Unless your picture's being taken ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Apr. 08, 2017

Coming soon to SYFY!

In the spirit of rather zany disaster movies, comes the latest original offering from SYFY! Don't worry about the fact that we were forced to change our name and picked the dumbest thing anyone could ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Mar. 11, 2017

Semen Slang?

What does your first name say about... what odd slang term you should use to describe semen? Well, check this handy chart and find out for yourself. A tad juvenile, I know, but bite me, it's fun....(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 24, 2017

Guide to Internet BS

No, not this site, peoples' stories. Oh, the tales we weave trying to impress strangers. Well, here's how to spot when someone drops a giant pile of lies in front of your face and expects you to belie...(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 22, 2017

Coming Soon in 2017!

So, here's a run down of the top ten LEAST anticipated video game releases for the upcoming year. This was based on a poll of like 6 gorillion gamers and is taken as the holy truth by like a dozen rel...(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 06, 2017

Ayatollah You About This...

Sometimes, fate an circumstance conspire to put incredibly unqualified people into high positions of power. Watch as a hapless Michael Cera becomes the sensation of a nation and decrees a fatwa of wac...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jan. 19, 2017

Black Friday 2016

It's that time of year again. We celebrate consumption and disregard civility to do so. This Black Friday, don't go out. Instead, pull up a chair, dial into the news, and pour a stiff drink as you pla...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 24, 2016

Harambe - The Movie

Coming soon to a theater near you, the touching story of a boy, an ape, their love, and the national tragedy that followed. I don't usually do memes, but when I do, well... here ya go....(Click to see more)

Posted: Oct. 14, 2016

Marketing Meeting Notes

You ever wonder exactly how some concepts for products and their advertising come into existence? Well, at the core of it all is a marketing meeting, where people gather to determine exactly how to se...(Click to see more)

Posted: Oct. 04, 2016

Punishment Cereal

Are your kids acting up? Do you need to show them the deal and lay down the law? Are you opposed to savage beatings, and think washing their mouths out with soap is too old-fashioned? Well, do I have ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Sep. 24, 2016

Pokémon Go? Hell no.

Well, Pokémon GO is all the rage these days. It's supposedly revolutionary because it gets people up and active, interacting with video game elements in reality. That's all well and good, but I'm not...(Click to see more)

Posted: Sep. 14, 2016

Shall Rise Again?

Those folks in the South... they have that Southern Pride. It comes through in their day-to-day lives, and, durnit', it's just impressive that they'll apply it to any dang thing.

See this example. ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jun. 05, 2016

Participant Awards?

We live in an age where kids get award pretty much just for showing up to school.
But why is the label so bland as to be "participant?"

Everyone has things about them that we can celebrate instea...(Click to see more)

Posted: Mar. 12, 2016

Grand Theft... wait, what?

Oh yeah! Living that thug life above the arctic circle. Jackin' pinnipeds, spearin' whales, clubbin' seals, beatin' up... snow prostitutes?
Either way, it's one hell of an experience, and the critics...(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 04, 2016

VHS Library

Found this when I was digging around a filthy box in a filthy place. A real testament to those completely not-derivative and bold concepts that comprised 1980s horror films. Time to fire up the VCR!
...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jan. 13, 2016

Manic Organic

Buying organic. It's something everyone's getting into, but going into one of those organic stores can be a confusing debacle. How organic is too organic? Does organic really mean "made of organs?"

...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jan. 03, 2016

Wager of Despair

It's that time of year again. The time when shopping becomes a life-or-death competitive struggle, with varying results. Thrill and chill as your fellow man become ravenous beasts, hungry for merchand...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 26, 2015

Turn down for guts!

A series of video clips of whales exploding, set to everyone's favorite summer jam. It's a Lil' Jon-tage. Get it?

I never realized how many videos are out there of dead whales exploding due to inte...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 13, 2015

Billionaire Ideas #3

The super rich. The powerful elite. The 1%. Whatever you want to call them, they've got so much money they can literally buy almost anything that exists, but it just goes to show that you can't buy cr...(Click to see more)

Posted: Oct. 02, 2015

Billionaire Ideas #1

The super rich. The powerful elite. The 1%. Whatever you want to call them, they've got so much money they can literally buy almost anything that exists.

Yet, they seem bereft of good ideas as to w...(Click to see more)

Posted: Oct. 01, 2015

Billionaire Ideas #2

Posted: Oct. 01, 2015

Radio Clip: Latrell

Ok, so back before I was a rapper, and consequently, before I did this website, I was the co-host of a radio show. The radio show was called "One-Hour Pharmacy" - because it was an hour long, and the ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Sep. 25, 2015

No Bully, pls!

It's back-to-school season, and this is something every parent should consider purchasing for their children. Better safe than sorry, you know....(Click to see more)

Posted: Aug. 05, 2015

The Little Engine...

Children's books should tackle more complicated subjects. They shouldn't just be empty collections of platitudes and lessons in being yourself. News flash: being yourself gets you nowhere!

So, natu...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jun. 26, 2015

Ernest vs. Jason

I think this would have shattered box-office records, as it would have been one of the formative horror-movie crossovers.

If you think Ernest movies aren't horror movies, you haven't been over 12 ...(Click to see more)

Posted: May. 03, 2015

Urf Day Tip: save energy!

Learn from the wisdom of the ancients. Those lost societies we know little-to-nothing about were surely more in touch with the planet than we are today....(Click to see more)

Posted: Apr. 22, 2015

Kids NEED things

Another in my series of irrelevant or oddly specific bumper stickers.
#26 - I stand by it!

To vote for this one, click and leave a comment and/or a like....(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 16, 2015

I have faults

Another in my series of irrelevant or oddly specific bumper stickers.
#24 - and I'm glad this one's true for me.

To vote for this one, click and leave a comment and/or a like....(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 15, 2015

Don't steal!

I've put together a collection of impractical or oddly specific bumper stickers.
This is #5.
Watch out for that government!

To vote for this one, click and leave a comment and/or a like....(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 13, 2015

Honk, honk!

I've put together a collection of impractical or oddly specific bumper stickers.
This is #8.

To vote for this one, click and leave a comment and/or a like....(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 13, 2015

It burns!

Another in my series of irrelevant or oddly specific bumper stickers.
#21 - and oh, there's truth there.

To vote for this one, click and leave a comment and/or a like....(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 13, 2015

HorseSex Sim

So, I was walking past the game store in the mall the other day, and I saw this game on the big ol' demo screen.

I played it for about five minutes before determining that
a) people need to stop m...(Click to see more)

Posted: Aug. 21, 2014

Booty. Booty! BOOTY!

Yes, I keep telling myself I'll stop making loops, but sometimes it's necessary, damnit!

In this particular case, I feel the world might need a clip espousing the glory of a quantity of booty. Ther...(Click to see more)

Posted: May. 28, 2014

Mr. T Simulator

Picked up this game for the Xbone today. Gonna see if it lives up to all the hype I've been hearing.

I'm eager to challenge all my friends in "T for Two" party game mode, and join the millions of p...(Click to see more)

Posted: May. 27, 2014

Jay-Z elevator fight, w/audio.

You might have seen this on the news, if you're into trashy celebrity shit from TMZ. However, their version doesn't tell the whole story.

I have managed to recover the audio using a proprietary tec...(Click to see more)

Posted: May. 12, 2014

Did You Know #1

You've probably seen these "Did You Know" factoids running around social media. Usually interesting little tidbits that you are statistically unlikely to know.

I made my own and threw them out ther...(Click to see more)

Posted: Apr. 12, 2014

Did You Know #2

Posted: Apr. 12, 2014

Did You Know #3

Posted: Apr. 12, 2014

Did You Know #4

Posted: Apr. 12, 2014

Tech N9ne BK commercial

A few years back, Burger King wanted to use Tech N9ne's song to sell their burgers. the ad was put together, but due to contractual issues, it was never able to be aired.

This footage is taken from...(Click to see more)

Posted: Mar. 13, 2014

Children's Book

So, they* asked me to write a children's book, to entertain the youngsters at dentists' offices the world over.

I decided to take the approach of explaining real-world intricacies in terms kids can...(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 06, 2014

Shaq Attaq

MC Hammer's tribute to Shaq. You see, back in the mid-90s, Hammer's star was fading, but Shaq was on the rise, and has yet to ever slow down. So, being the decent fellow that he was, Hammer decided to...(Click to see more)

Posted: Dec. 16, 2013

You're a dog!

Some background here.

In 1990, the now-late actor Peter Boyle was the protagonist in a show about a dead cop who gets reincarnated as a talking dog, and sets about trying to find his killer, among ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Sep. 27, 2013

Nihilism

My favorite Rancid song, in its entirety.

A masterwork of 3rd-generation punkital rock.
Such humble songsmiths from Olympia, WA.
Also known as the left armpit of Washington state.
The music ref...(Click to see more)

Posted: Sep. 25, 2013

The Niggler

What if one of Batman's oldest foes was a little less Machiavellian, and a lot more... well, obnoxious.

The use of Jim Carrey in this graphic is meant to emphasize that factor....(Click to see more)

Posted: Jul. 15, 2013

What are you on, bitch?

Once again, Bill Dynamite informs a particularly spurious woman that she has breached a contractual agreement, and must be given a warning.

One in a series of video clips ending in "bitch!"...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jun. 18, 2013

Kony's Kidz

Oh, that rascal Joe Kony and his army of children. Our good friends over at One-Hour Pharmacy decided to sponsor a charity campaign in order to help out those little scamps and keep them out of harm's...(Click to see more)

Posted: Apr. 26, 2012

The Fucking Tree

I had to do my own take on a timeless children's classic.

In this case, though, the tree isn't a doormat and a pushover, and doesn't let that kid use him and fuck up his entire life. But, the tree ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 17, 2012

Watermelon Rape

One of the United States' most inspiring historical figures, William Q. Dynamite, is asked what he would rather do than forcibly copulate with the woman shown here.

His hypothetical alternative pre...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jan. 29, 2012

You got the duck-bill...

You got the duck-bill; lizard, too.

A commentary on "duck face" self-photos, or just something that happened because I had a pringles commercial from the early 1990s stuck in my head?

You decide...(Click to see more)