Quote of the moment:
As Aristotle said, "hearing out a poor argument is worse than a kick in the penis," but he wore Greek penis armor at all times, so...
Presenting a simple flowchart to determine if you should refer to a given product as "addictive" or not....(Click to see more)
The band KISS are known for their almost Star Wars-tier marketing of products with their gimmicks on it, and this is no exception. Ever wanted mashed potatoes to slip into your stomach, right from Gen...(Click to see more)
Perfect for those occasions when you're just hitting the East Side of the LBC, and you notice an impromptu dice game being played on the side of the road.
If you know like I know, you don't want t...(Click to see more)
It's a time of tumult and change. People are re-evaluating old institutions and trying to appease a crowd hungry for something new and progressive... and also hungry for pancakes!
Mainstay of the ...(Click to see more)
Ever been so broke you couldn't even afford name-brand ramen noodles? Well, HONKmart® has the product for you! Stock up at the low, low price of 2 cents each. ...(Click to see more)
Everyone's favorite rap group has outdone themselves with this feat of co-branding. New Chew Tang Clan packs flavor like you've never seen. ...(Click to see more)
Chili! We all love it, and now we can get it to go in a convenient travel cup. The new widemouth straw makes sure you get every last morsel of delicious chili while you're on the go!...(Click to see more)
Mint this and mint that... mouthwash has no flavor anymore. Everyone wants fresh breath, but only Listerine® can bring you old world charm along with it. Available in the pasta sauce aisle....(Click to see more)
Keep your loved ones safe from harm with this series of patent-pending restraints. So many tragedies happen every day as a result of children moving around, so do your part to prevent that with this f...(Click to see more)
You're tired, the kids are shrieking because they're hungry, and all you have are some odds and ends in the refrigerator. What's a working mom to do? Well, with new DogMAGIC™, you can serve fresh ho...(Click to see more)
Ever want to be see as the face of righteousness in a sea of oppression and tumult? Ever wish you didn't really have to do much of anything to get the high praise for being good? Well, never fear, it'...(Click to see more)
An associate of mine started making wraps with popcorn and cheese. A dubious concept, for sure, but even the oddest idea needs marketing. Also, I'm not all that sure this is really a bad idea...(Click to see more)
Are your kids acting up? Do you need to show them the deal and lay down the law? Are you opposed to savage beatings, and think washing their mouths out with soap is too old-fashioned? Well, do I have ...(Click to see more)
Well, Pokémon GO is all the rage these days. It's supposedly revolutionary because it gets people up and active, interacting with video game elements in reality. That's all well and good, but I'm not...(Click to see more)
Have you ever wanted to fuck something and chop vegetables at the same time? Now presenting the FleshChop™ - the world's most satisfying kitchen aid.
Chop, dice, and mince effortlessly while furi...(Click to see more)
'Tis the season to celebrate. I suggest pouring yourself a nice, tall glass of this stuff while you're watching all the movies they marathon on MLKing Day....(Click to see more)
Ever want a nice breakfast of some kind of hot mush, but you, just don't care what? Do I have the thing for you!
It's CREAM OF WHAT? The breakfast that challenges you to guess what it is, aside fro...(Click to see more)
A long, long time ago, I made a graphic about an oat cereal. But it was tiny, and looked like shit. This is the revised concept for 2016.
Yum!...(Click to see more)
Do you ever wonder how to make more mundane aspects of your life into something exciting? Well, don't we all, but usually, when we think of things, we don't think of feminine hygiene.
The good peop...(Click to see more)
In the interest of clarity, I've been working with the good people at Preparation Headquarters to make those labels less ambiguous.
I think I did a good job. At least, I hope I did, because the new...(Click to see more)
I don't exactly know why I made this, but I did.
Sour Snatch Kids. Name says it all, I suppose....(Click to see more)
So then, I entered a contest to design a sex toy.
This was my design.
I made it usable by both sexes, and with a ghost-themed design, to capture the fetish market.
If I win, then they'll make m...(Click to see more)
When you really want to show her you care, nothing says lovin' like a gift-wrapped box of Lice: For Her!
Available wherever finer parasites and lesser vermin are sold....(Click to see more)
Sometimes, you want the flavor of melt-in-your-mouth steak, but don't have the time to go to the steakatorium.
Well, that's where my new Meat Tarts™ come in!
Just pop 'em in the toaster, and in ...(Click to see more)
When you've got a thirst that makes you feel like you've been working for free for someone else for years, pick up a jug of the great Thirst Emancipator!
With electro-lytes, and all manner of other...(Click to see more)
Happy birthday to Martin Luther King, Junior.
We enjoy seeing the realization of your dream as a reality today! Your small wads of delicious mint filling, surrounded by a rich coating of dark choc...(Click to see more)