All articles containing: "boo"

Baby shower etiquette

Ever been invited to a baby shower? Ever been monumentally bored by the event? Would you like to learn time-tested, professional methods to not only get removed from a baby shower, but to in all likel...(Click to see more)

Posted: Aug. 12, 2021

Setting Expectations Early

Sometimes, everyone has a bad day. It's the job of parents everywhere to let kids know that nothing's ever so bad that it couldn't possibly be worse. Thus, we turn to the old standards that we all rea...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jan. 02, 2021

Book Club #3

Another from my recent work with SauceTown Magazine
A lovely book which any avid reader/online dating enthusiast should have on their shelf....(Click to see more)

Posted: Jan. 30, 2020

Another Bestseller!

In this month's SauceTown Magazine, there's a review of this wonderful book, which contains all sorts of tips, tricks, and secrets with regard to avoiding baby showers....(Click to see more)

Posted: Jul. 15, 2019

The Art and Science...

The total and complete guide to both the technical details and artistic nuance of turning your crank on public transit.
The latest version includes two new chapters on light rail and subways....(Click to see more)

Posted: Sep. 06, 2018

The Zuck factor

That Mark Zuckerberg, lord of online data collection and ruler of online media outlets, always under scrutiny for acting not quite right. Regardless of the reason, I've got some ideas I think he could...(Click to see more)

Posted: Apr. 11, 2018

HURR DURR

I don't like to talk about politics. At all. Ever. Especially publicly. Nobody gives a fuck what anyone's political views are. However, do not confuse this for a political post, despite the fact that ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 18, 2017

Comic Sound Effects

Comic books have the interesting duty of translating sounds into words on paper. Sometimes it works, and sometimes... less so. Here are the least popular comic book sound effects in use today. ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Oct. 04, 2017

Choose #3

Yet another in a line of "Choose Your Own Adventure" stories. Man, I sure loved these as a kid. I must have read them all. ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jun. 12, 2017

Choose Again

Another in a series of children's adventure books where you pick the uncomfortable, disgusting, and therapy-inducing ending. A lovely summer read....(Click to see more)

Posted: Jun. 02, 2017

Choose Your Destiny

I always loved those books where you get to pick the outcome. In this tale, someone made a shitty joke, and now everyone has to attend a mandatory seminar. Dodge the perils of the office as you attemp...(Click to see more)

Posted: May. 17, 2017

Romance Novel #2

Ah, the treasure people leave behind at bus stops. ...(Click to see more)

Posted: May. 13, 2017

My first what now?

Living in a police state as we do, it's sometimes tough to explain certain concepts to kids. Concepts like why an authority figure might need to thumb their buttholes for reasons of security, and why ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Apr. 21, 2017

Parenting Books

Parenting is tough, and nobody wants to foster the growth of another generation of inept adult children. What to do? Well, a behavioral therapist has shared her advice in this new book. I can't put it...(Click to see more)

Posted: Apr. 03, 2017

Romance Novel

Ah, the world of romance novels. Where fantasy artists get a break from drawing dragons for D&D manuals, and instead draw flowy dresses, huge pecs, and open shirts for a little change of pace. Like th...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jun. 22, 2016

Yearbook Predictions

Kids these days have a wide range of futures open to them. A truly modern yearbook embraces trends, and has categories relevant to more likely futures than just the standard "likely to succeed" or "li...(Click to see more)

Posted: Mar. 21, 2016

Psycho Couple Bingo

We all have them on our lists. Sometimes it's because they were good friends once, sometimes it's because they are just pure entertainment. Either way, I'm talking about the sickeningly dysfunctional ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Mar. 14, 2016

Participant Awards?

We live in an age where kids get award pretty much just for showing up to school.
But why is the label so bland as to be "participant?"

Everyone has things about them that we can celebrate instea...(Click to see more)

Posted: Mar. 12, 2016

Little Golden Books

We all remember those Little Golden Books, right? Well, guess who decided to write one? I think my first submission will be well-received by the publishing house, and I will be able to continue to tea...(Click to see more)

Posted: Nov. 30, 2015

What about ghosts?

I have always had an affinity for the paranormal, so I decided to write a book about the spirit world, and how to interface with it, in order to communicate. And by "communicate," I of course mean to ...(Click to see more)

Posted: Aug. 18, 2015

The Little Engine...

Children's books should tackle more complicated subjects. They shouldn't just be empty collections of platitudes and lessons in being yourself. News flash: being yourself gets you nowhere!

So, natu...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jun. 26, 2015

Booty. Booty! BOOTY!

Yes, I keep telling myself I'll stop making loops, but sometimes it's necessary, damnit!

In this particular case, I feel the world might need a clip espousing the glory of a quantity of booty. Ther...(Click to see more)

Posted: May. 28, 2014

Children's Book

So, they* asked me to write a children's book, to entertain the youngsters at dentists' offices the world over.

I decided to take the approach of explaining real-world intricacies in terms kids can...(Click to see more)

Posted: Feb. 06, 2014

Helping the Special People

The original title of this book was "Helping The Retarded To Know God."

Not much better, eh? Still exploitative as hell, but there's not even any direct money in that, unlike staffing a brothel wit...(Click to see more)

Posted: Jun. 13, 2013

The Fucking Tree

I had to do my own take on a timeless children's classic.

In this case, though, the tree isn't a doormat and a pushover, and doesn't let that kid use him and fuck up his entire life. But, the tree ...(Click to see more)