Quote of the moment:
These are like the X-Files, but with fewer UFOs, and more discussion of the government suppression of the Electric Pornograph.
Another in a series of fire safety awareness tips.
Significant others tend to become less significant if they don't respect safety rules, and suddenly they become smoldering skeletons on the floor, clutching the melted remains of Elton John's "Rocket Man" single on vinyl.
Don't let it happen to your loved ones.