Tweets by @wombstretcha503
Wombstretcha.com
Information? More like digital farts and garlic.


Selected tag: poster

← go back

Bombs Away?





The Overworld Merchants Council reminds you to only buy locally-sourced, organically-grown, fair-trade bombs above the ground. Buy now, and buy often!...



Posted: Jul. 24, 2018

They's A Comin'





They are the US government's most insidious agriculture-based concern. Their shadowy presence reaches across the land and they act with impunity. So, you better eat your eggs. You better eat your eggs...



Posted: Mar. 22, 2017

Coming soon to SYFY!





In the spirit of rather zany disaster movies, comes the latest original offering from SYFY! Don't worry about the fact that we were forced to change our name and picked the dumbest thing anyone could ...



Posted: Mar. 11, 2017

Some Drugs are BAD.





Meth and heroin use and abuse have reached record levels over the last few years. During such times of public health crisis like this, it's refreshing to know that there's an alternative waiting for u...



Posted: Jan. 30, 2017

Snoop in the Courtroom





The legal drama of the year premieres this summer on the Fox network. Snoop Dogg is the best lawyer in Compton, but he's constantly finding himself in contempt of court for his legal doggystyle. Watch...



Posted: Jan. 12, 2017

Romantic Comedy...





Just in time for Valentine's Day, it's a comedy about a couple whose marriage is in trouble, and the only way they can think to save it is by conquering the anal frontier! Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bul...



Posted: Jan. 05, 2017

The Santa Closet





Santa Claus. Right jolly old elf. Well, he's been keeping a secret for a long time, and now that's about to come to an end. Now the holidays will be even more festive, now that's he's about to come ou...



Posted: Dec. 24, 2016

Ash vs. Oz





Yeah, everyone likes the "Evil Dead" universe, but what if the main character took a trip over the rainbow, and landed in the magically befuddling land of merry old Oz? We're off to kick the wizard's ...



Posted: Dec. 15, 2016

Harambe - The Movie





Coming soon to a theater near you, the touching story of a boy, an ape, their love, and the national tragedy that followed. I don't usually do memes, but when I do, well... here ya go....



Posted: Oct. 14, 2016

Kill Pickle!





Out of the depths of the... cucumber patch... comes a story of such evil that it could only be reserved for the most brave of viewers. The savage story of a man gone too far. Tune in this Halloween fo...



Posted: Oct. 13, 2016

The Legend of...





Action movies will never be the same, not after this thrill-a-minute rollercoaster ride featuring a man who is half Bob... and also half Robert. It has adventure, intrigue, romance, mystery, and like ...



Posted: Sep. 22, 2016

Tim Burton's Latest





New from Tim Burton, a story about a weird, morbid, eccentric guy, who is actually just misunderstood and quite likable. This guy has to win the hearts and minds of people who don;t trust him at first...



Posted: Sep. 21, 2016

Frying Guy!





These colossal outdoor festivals. They're pretty crazy. Go out and hang with a bunch of people in the middle of nowhere for a week, and... well, I'm not sure what's supposed to happen, but it seems li...



Posted: Aug. 17, 2016

Beast Buy Deals!





When you just need deals on new or used livestock, you go on down to Beast Buy®. This ad has some screaming deals on some slightly damaged inventory, and these are some super savings!...



Posted: Jul. 30, 2016

Commie Produce





Usually, when you think of farming, you don't think of communism. Well, okay, maybe sometimes you do. But I don't think this movie was part of anyone's five-year plan. Coming this fall to a theater ne...



Posted: Jun. 23, 2016

Classical Gas





They certainly don't make movies like they used to. In this classic film, an artist with tremendous talent but terrible gas issues must cope with the rigors of trying to win a painting contest and bec...



Posted: Apr. 21, 2016

Disease Warning!





The World Health Organization has released a new bulletin about a disease we thought was dead, but once crippled the Western world. Fortunately, there's this handy poster to help us figure out if one ...



Posted: Feb. 26, 2016

Buttsex Hero!





Buttsex hero! No, it's not a video game with a funny controller, but instead is a big-budget Hollywood production about a simple country boy who moves to Los Angeles to live out his dream of being an ...



Posted: Jan. 29, 2016

Happy MLK Day, 2016





It's MLKing Day. And while you enjoy yourself a nice tall, cool glass, you should consider watching this classic film about when the struggle for civil rights got serious and mothafuckas had to get bl...



Posted: Jan. 18, 2016

When Life Gives You...





Sometimes, something happens which is so horrible, people can't help but make a film about it. Usually, these are grand mysteries, or fantastic crimes, but an overlooked 1982 slaughtering spree commit...



Posted: Jan. 07, 2016

The classics are terrifying.





I sat down to watch what appeared to be a classic horror film, but I seem to have been bamboozled.
It think this is the bootleg Hong Kong version or something....



Posted: Oct. 16, 2015

Farmed Parenthood





Ah, those timeless old horror movies. You really can't beat the classic feel of that era, and they always had the best posters.

This example is from the short-lived period where everyone was making...



Posted: Sep. 28, 2015

the Astro-Bastards





Coming this winter to a theater near you.

The cold uterus of space is ready to deliver, and it's up to a crew of two professional infant exterminators to stop it before it kills everything onboard ...



Posted: Sep. 26, 2015

The Milkman Cometh





Every now and then, comes a film, so shocking in its nature that you can't help but watch it and eat loudly. This is one of those films. Based on real events in the summer of 1974. A small farming com...



Posted: Aug. 31, 2015

Chicken Showdown





The bitter rivals in the chicken game finally go head-to-head. One shall stand, and one shall fall. The legendary struggle, finally brought to life on the big screen, and the chicken particulate is ab...



Posted: Aug. 10, 2015

Imperial Russian Porn





What would have happened if Tsar Nicholas II wasn't executed by the filthy Bolsheviks, and had fled to California to get a fresh start on life? Find out when you watch "Porn Tsar" - the heartwarming a...



Posted: Jul. 31, 2015

DMX-mas





Coming this holiday season, a down-and-out rapper witnesses terrorists kidnapping none other than Santa Claus in a back alley after a dice game on Christmas Eve.

Finding his magical sleigh down the...



Posted: Jul. 30, 2015


Arsonist of Hope





A man travels the countryside, finding lost souls and sob stories as he goes. His magic gift with arson, however, leaves everyone he touches looking at life in a new light.

Golly, I love these hear...



Posted: Jun. 05, 2015

Marky's Ark!





Ah, how could the world have forgotten the works of Marcus Q. Mark? Oh wait, they didn't!

In this delightful summer comedy vehicle, a young Mark Wahlberg goes back in time for no good reason and wi...



Posted: May. 17, 2015

Adolf at the bat





Just when you thought there would never be another good underdog sports movie, along comes "Designated Hitler!"

It's a heartwarming story about a Führer, and a bad-luck baseball team with the wor...



Posted: Apr. 28, 2015

He's going APE!





Coming this fall, is the heartwarming tale of a Las Vegas pimp who happens to have a tragic accident, costing him the use of his legs.

He thinks all is lost, until a new service animal from the Dep...



Posted: Apr. 26, 2015

My-KILL Jackson





A group of friends go fishing in the woods, and encounter the legendary King of Pop, brought back to life by a genie, or a dying child's wish, or Robin Williams or something.

However, not all is w...



Posted: Apr. 22, 2015

Fire Safety





Fire. Man's oldest foe. Capable of heating your mammoth meat, or burning down your whole village.

Even in modern times, where we have long since tamed fire, it can still cause great destruction and...



Posted: May. 14, 2014

Fire Safety #2





Another in a series of fire safety awareness tips.

This one emphasizes that even if it's your twin brother, you can't let them mess around when it comes to being safe....



Posted: May. 14, 2014

Fire Safety #3





Another in a series of fire safety awareness tips.

Significant others tend to become less significant if they don't respect safety rules, and suddenly they become smoldering skeletons on the floor,...



Posted: May. 14, 2014

Fire Safety #4





Numero cuatro in a series of fire safety posters.

At the office, it is incredibly important to make certain that your co-workers understand the benefits of remaining alive through constant vigilanc...



Posted: May. 14, 2014

Fire Safety #5





Another in a series of helpful tips about safety.

If you have children, then you know how important it is to educate them to be as safe as possible. Kids will be kids, but if they burn the house do...



Posted: May. 14, 2014

Fire Safety #6





Yet another in a series of helpful, informational fire safety posters.

Parenting is difficult, but un-charring corpses is more difficult. Instill proper respect for safety while they're still young...



Posted: May. 14, 2014

Guess what?





You're not special!

I made this poster to keep people from getting the idea that they somehow can get the world to pull punches in their case, because they feel like it....



Posted: Apr. 08, 2014

You are...





...not special!

Just a reminder, in case any of you are confused as to exactly how much special treatment you can expect from everyone else who lives here....



Posted: Apr. 08, 2014

Reading Time!





Now, while I didn't "create" this, per se, I did take a photograph someone took of a poster found in an elementary school library and digitally removed all the wrinkles in the paper(as best I could) a...



Posted: Jul. 02, 2012

Deuce Buggalo!





This is the story of Deuce Buggalo, a normal guy with a normal job who ended up racking up a massive debt through no fault of his own.

When one of his customers claims that fans of Insane Clown Pos...



Posted: May. 03, 2012

Smack and Me





The story of a boy who goes off to summer camp and ends up with a heroin habit that changes his life.

Before, he was a bookish nerd who had trouble making friends, but ever since he started shootin...



Posted: Nov. 14, 2011

Mophand McKnifestabber





Everyone fondly recalls those touching coming-of-age movies we all watched when we were adolescents. Well, this is probably my favorite of the bunch.

Those kids learned a lot about living from the ...



Posted: Nov. 07, 2011

Motivational poster!





Having passed the approval of my control group, I now submit my motivational poster to the general public. Unlike other motivational posters which are supposed to inspire you to achieve greater height...



Posted: Nov. 06, 2011

The Statutory Ape





Those mid-70s monster flicks are always a gamble. They try and do so much. Most of the time they usually end up as bad creature-features with sexploitation themes and weak '70s gore effects. Usually a...



Posted: Nov. 06, 2011

← go back







© 2005 - 2017 Wombstretcha.com