Ask your doctor
Available by prescription only....
Posted: Jun. 14, 2018
Road Trip Games!
A timeline of the various games played in cars which involve both perception and violence. So many siblings' arms, damaged. Anyhow, here's the chart. Seems "Slug Bug" is eternal....
Posted: May. 04, 2018
Ah, the splendor of the natural world and all its creatures. ...
Posted: Apr. 04, 2018
Thanks to the Adult Content Ratings Board, people everywhere can pick out pornography for their entertainment, and not be surprised by any of the content in it.
Posted: Mar. 09, 2018
Time to Read!
We all wish we had more time to read, but sometimes modern life is so hectic, it can be hard to find a moment to indulge yourself. The United Literacy Council has a few tips to help find yourself some...
Posted: Dec. 19, 2017
Time to check out the circulars which come in that old-fashioned thing called a "news paper." I think they're all 97% advertising at this point anyway, with one fluff piece in the back about a watersk...
Posted: Dec. 02, 2017
We all know someone like this. Fresh out of jail, or out of a terrible relationship, or a long stretch of something bad. Has a new boyfriend who wears stained wifebeaters year-round, calls her affecti...
Posted: Nov. 29, 2017
Bottom 10 gift ideas
In a recent poll of retail workers in the United States, these items were found to have the worst sales and/or highest return for non-replacement figures in the entire shoppingverse. Be advised when y...
Posted: Nov. 25, 2017
As product advertising characters go, Mrs. Thinster is a delightfully uninspired caricature designed to make middle-aged women feel fat, so as to sell more of these "thin" cookies.
Posted: Sep. 13, 2017
American Bore Story
So, here's my experience with the show American Horror Story.
Posted: Sep. 06, 2017
What do I feed my ferret?! Anyone who owns a a stretch-rat knows they'll eat just about anything, but there are certain things you just shouldn't be feeding them.
Posted: Aug. 15, 2017
Chili! We all love it, and now we can get it to go in a convenient travel cup. The new widemouth straw makes sure you get every last morsel of delicious chili while you're on the go!...
Posted: Jun. 27, 2017
New from Listerine!
Mint this and mint that... mouthwash has no flavor anymore. Everyone wants fresh breath, but only Listerine® can bring you old world charm along with it. Available in the pasta sauce aisle....
Posted: Jun. 23, 2017
New from Taco Bell
New from Taco Bell® comes the latest in a line of co-branded taste treats. You've had the Doritos® Locos Taco, and the Nude Chicken Taco, well now it's time to slide down the mountain with our new E...
Posted: Jun. 16, 2017
Yet another in a line of "Choose Your Own Adventure" stories. Man, I sure loved these as a kid. I must have read them all. ...
Posted: Jun. 12, 2017
Keep Them Safe
Keep your loved ones safe from harm with this series of patent-pending restraints. So many tragedies happen every day as a result of children moving around, so do your part to prevent that with this f...
Posted: Jun. 05, 2017
Another in a series of children's adventure books where you pick the uncomfortable, disgusting, and therapy-inducing ending. A lovely summer read....
Posted: Jun. 02, 2017
Choose Your Destiny
I always loved those books where you get to pick the outcome. In this tale, someone made a shitty joke, and now everyone has to attend a mandatory seminar. Dodge the perils of the office as you attemp...
Posted: May. 17, 2017
A good source of protein.
Indulge in decadence by getting yourself a box of these delightful treats. They're pure meat, dipped in pure milk chocolate, for a taste sensation that will have you robbing people at bus stations in ...
Posted: Apr. 11, 2017
Why is the American letter grading system so odd-seeming? Well, it actually makes perfect sense if you think about it for a little bit, so come, let's do just that. You will not be graded....
Posted: Mar. 29, 2017
New from Galoob!
Ever want to be see as the face of righteousness in a sea of oppression and tumult? Ever wish you didn't really have to do much of anything to get the high praise for being good? Well, never fear, it'...
Posted: Feb. 10, 2017
Some Drugs are BAD.
Meth and heroin use and abuse have reached record levels over the last few years. During such times of public health crisis like this, it's refreshing to know that there's an alternative waiting for u...
Posted: Jan. 30, 2017
Ash vs. Oz
Yeah, everyone likes the "Evil Dead" universe, but what if the main character took a trip over the rainbow, and landed in the magically befuddling land of merry old Oz? We're off to kick the wizard's ...
Posted: Dec. 15, 2016
Are you a domestic person who delights in pretty much anything but being domestic? I think we have found the periodical for you....
Posted: Nov. 08, 2016
I don't know if this happens a lot in other places, but where I live, this happens ALL. THE. TIME. I simply cannot comprehend the mindset behind doing this voluntarily, unless someone is trying to get...
Posted: Oct. 06, 2016
Organic Yogurt, yum?
Organic yogurt. It's nature's goodness in a creamy, spoonable format. Well, sometimes nature's goodness just... isn't so good. 2016 was a year for taking bold chances on new and inspiring yogurt flavo...
Posted: Aug. 26, 2016
These colossal outdoor festivals. They're pretty crazy. Go out and hang with a bunch of people in the middle of nowhere for a week, and... well, I'm not sure what's supposed to happen, but it seems li...
Posted: Aug. 17, 2016
Yeah, yeah. Crystal Pepsi's back on shelves, and that petition we all signed back in 2002 to bring back Surge apparently worked, but we seem to forget that these beverages went away for a reason. They...
Posted: Aug. 13, 2016
Beast Buy Deals!
When you just need deals on new or used livestock, you go on down to Beast Buy®. This ad has some screaming deals on some slightly damaged inventory, and these are some super savings!...
Posted: Jul. 30, 2016
Drinking Game #23
Do you like drinking games with ridiculous concepts and rules? Well, have I got something for you. This drinking game is a sure winner, and does not involve anything aside from intoxicants and Latin f...
Posted: Jun. 20, 2016
We live in an age where kids get award pretty much just for showing up to school.
Posted: Mar. 12, 2016
Public Service Message
And now a message intended for the people out there who might be inclined to forget certain things in the heat of the moment. Paid for by the good people at the United States Oral Council and approved...
Posted: Feb. 18, 2016
Apparently, it was a holiday today, and I didn't even realize it until I got on the road earlier!
Posted: Nov. 22, 2015
So, I was talking with some people about themed pizza places, like Chuck E. Cheese and so forth, where it's an experience to go there. It's usually for kids though, and usually pretty lame.
Posted: Nov. 20, 2015
Radio Clip: Latrell
Ok, so back before I was a rapper, and consequently, before I did this website, I was the co-host of a radio show. The radio show was called "One-Hour Pharmacy" - because it was an hour long, and the ...
Posted: Sep. 25, 2015
Sometimes, you're in a rush. It's modern times, and nobody ever has time to devote their full attention to anything anymore! Crazy to think you can sit even your own family down for ten, or even five ...
Posted: Aug. 07, 2015
Ever the innovators, Apple has managed to blow the lid off the breakfast market with its snazzy new iFood. For a reasonably modest entry cost (plus subscription fees), you too can own the breakfast ce...
Posted: Jul. 23, 2015
Rejected Slogans 5
Some people have a knack for making good advertisements, but you know, you can't win them all. This one ended up in the can at the end of the day....
Posted: Jul. 14, 2015
Rejected Slogans 4
Coming up with a successful slogan to sell a product is tough stuff! It requires draft after draft, and revision after revision. Sometimes, things just don't pass muster, and this is one of those thin...
Posted: Jul. 13, 2015
Rejected Slogans 3
Being in advertising means taking chances on ad campaigns. Being unconventional can mean total success or utter failure. Not everything can succeed...
Posted: Jul. 12, 2015
Rejected Slogans 2
Advertising is difficult. It's not all highballs and adultery like in that "Mad Men" show. It's selling creativity, which has to in turn sell products.
Posted: Jul. 10, 2015
Rejected Slogans 1
Advertising is a tough business. Ad agencies usually throw out more ideas than they ever use, and we're going to find out what didn't make the cut....
Posted: Jul. 09, 2015
Have you ever dreamed of a better way to manage your goiter, and/or streamline the process of purchasing goiter-related supplies?
Posted: Jun. 07, 2015
Arsonist of Hope
A man travels the countryside, finding lost souls and sob stories as he goes. His magic gift with arson, however, leaves everyone he touches looking at life in a new light.
Posted: Jun. 05, 2015
Waffle House Bathroom TV
You know, I used to think I hated reality TV, but sometimes they formulate just the right concept to give everyone what they really want to see. What they want to see is humanity at its worst.
Posted: Jun. 04, 2015
Adventures in clickbait #2
Ok, I'm trying once again to make the most soulless, manipulative graphic possible, for the sheer sake of pulling traffic.
Posted: May. 28, 2015
From the network that brought you "Orangutan Paternity Suit," and "America's Strongest Mormon," comes a riveting hour-long drama about an unfrozen caveman who is recruited into the Detroit Police.
Posted: May. 25, 2015
So, in my ongoing experiments on how to be completely unscrupulous for personal gain, I'm launching some laboratory-grade clickbait on to social media, to gauge if my "click sense" is tuned to that of...
Posted: May. 20, 2015
No word on whether or not it actually works. I'm betting it does, because laughter is the best medicine, and blasting rails of Patch Adams up your booger-chute is the best way to get those laughs in t...
Posted: May. 04, 2015
Adam Sandler is firm as fudge on this one, as he believes it preserves the artistic integrity of the films.
Posted: May. 02, 2015
Who's Your Caddy?
It is unknown to science whether or not this means that all other movies there are more terrible than this one, or that this one is merely subjectively deemed better than all the rest.
Posted: May. 02, 2015
So, I was thinking of how fugly Crocs (the shoe) are, and what could be done to mitigate the trauma resulting from seeing them worn in public places.
Posted: Apr. 01, 2015
Help! My nanny is...
Now this, THIS is what I call revolutionary television programming. I'm gonna be riveted to my seat all season....
Posted: Mar. 21, 2015
Feed us a fetus*
I've put together a collection of impractical or oddly specific bumper stickers.
Posted: Feb. 13, 2015
I've put together a collection of impractical or oddly specific bumper stickers.
Posted: Feb. 13, 2015
50 Shades of Cent
So, apparently this upcoming movie has everyone super stoked. It's apparently about a rapper from New York who grew up on the mean streets before finding his true love: bondage play.
Posted: Feb. 09, 2015
What happens when everybody's favorite Shaq joins the local police force? Why, it's a non-stop rollercoaster of thrills, chills, spills, and kills! Topped with those one-of-a-kind Shaq catch phrases t...
Posted: Sep. 05, 2014
So, with all the alt-school models floating around these days, I figured there needs to be one centered around a more thrashing-oriented structure that encourages kids to learn as fast as their tolera...
Posted: Aug. 27, 2014
Relative Units of Measure
In case anyone needs clarification on the "new school" of relative units of measure, I happen to have made a handy chart. Clickity for full-size....
Posted: Jul. 30, 2014
When good drinks go bad.
Posted: Jun. 18, 2014
Emancipate your thirst
When you've got a thirst that makes you feel like you've been working for free for someone else for years, pick up a jug of the great Thirst Emancipator!
Posted: May. 30, 2013
Color me Vladd
Imagine a world where vampires were real, and in the early 90s, they formed an R&B group, featuring the hit single "I Want To Suck You Up."...
Posted: Oct. 20, 2012
Now, while I didn't "create" this, per se, I did take a photograph someone took of a poster found in an elementary school library and digitally removed all the wrinkles in the paper(as best I could) a...
Posted: Jul. 02, 2012