Quote of the moment:
As Aristotle said, "hearing out a poor argument is worse than a kick in the penis," but he wore Greek penis armor at all times, so...

We all know that in these uncertain times, we can always choose one candidate who stands for bricks of squishy, sugary deliciousness. Whose flavor endures long after the other candidates have lost all taste and been stuck under the desk. We can make the future smell like the purple marker in the set of scented markers. We can make America grape again!