Quote of the moment:
In some states, I am known as "Dr. Buttsex." I have no idea why. I never got my degree or nothin'.

Another in a series of fire safety awareness tips.
Significant others tend to become less significant if they don't respect safety rules, and suddenly they become smoldering skeletons on the floor, clutching the melted remains of Elton John's "Rocket Man" single on vinyl.
Don't let it happen to your loved ones.