Because you's broke.
Ever been so broke you couldn't even afford name-brand ramen noodles? Well, HONKmart® has the product for you! Stock up at the low, low price of 2 cents each. ...
Posted: Aug. 02, 2018
Chew Tang Clan
Everyone's favorite rap group has outdone themselves with this feat of co-branding. New Chew Tang Clan packs flavor like you've never seen. ...
Posted: Jul. 07, 2017
Chili! We all love it, and now we can get it to go in a convenient travel cup. The new widemouth straw makes sure you get every last morsel of delicious chili while you're on the go!...
Posted: Jun. 27, 2017
New from Listerine!
Mint this and mint that... mouthwash has no flavor anymore. Everyone wants fresh breath, but only Listerine® can bring you old world charm along with it. Available in the pasta sauce aisle....
Posted: Jun. 23, 2017
Keep Them Safe
Keep your loved ones safe from harm with this series of patent-pending restraints. So many tragedies happen every day as a result of children moving around, so do your part to prevent that with this f...
Posted: Jun. 05, 2017
You're tired, the kids are shrieking because they're hungry, and all you have are some odds and ends in the refrigerator. What's a working mom to do? Well, with new DogMAGIC™, you can serve fresh ho...
Posted: Apr. 19, 2017
New from Galoob!
Ever want to be see as the face of righteousness in a sea of oppression and tumult? Ever wish you didn't really have to do much of anything to get the high praise for being good? Well, never fear, it'...
Posted: Feb. 10, 2017
An associate of mine started making wraps with popcorn and cheese. A dubious concept, for sure, but even the oddest idea needs marketing. Also, I'm not all that sure this is really a bad idea...
Posted: Oct. 26, 2016
Are your kids acting up? Do you need to show them the deal and lay down the law? Are you opposed to savage beatings, and think washing their mouths out with soap is too old-fashioned? Well, do I have ...
Posted: Sep. 24, 2016
Pokémon Go? Hell no.
Well, Pokémon GO is all the rage these days. It's supposedly revolutionary because it gets people up and active, interacting with video game elements in reality. That's all well and good, but I'm not...
Posted: Sep. 14, 2016
Have you ever wanted to fuck something and chop vegetables at the same time? Now presenting the FleshChop™ - the world's most satisfying kitchen aid.
Posted: Sep. 11, 2016
Have a glass of...
'Tis the season to celebrate. I suggest pouring yourself a nice, tall glass of this stuff while you're watching all the movies they marathon on MLKing Day....
Posted: Jan. 15, 2016
Cream of what?
Ever want a nice breakfast of some kind of hot mush, but you, just don't care what? Do I have the thing for you!
Posted: Dec. 25, 2015
More Oats N' Shit
A long, long time ago, I made a graphic about an oat cereal. But it was tiny, and looked like shit. This is the revised concept for 2016.
Posted: Dec. 18, 2015
Do you ever wonder how to make more mundane aspects of your life into something exciting? Well, don't we all, but usually, when we think of things, we don't think of feminine hygiene.
Posted: Aug. 25, 2015
In the interest of clarity, I've been working with the good people at Preparation Headquarters to make those labels less ambiguous.
Posted: Jan. 10, 2014
Sour Snatch Kids?
I don't exactly know why I made this, but I did.
Posted: Aug. 30, 2013
Sex Toy Contest
So then, I entered a contest to design a sex toy.
Posted: Aug. 21, 2013
Lice: For Her!
When you really want to show her you care, nothing says lovin' like a gift-wrapped box of Lice: For Her!
Posted: Jun. 13, 2013
Sometimes, you want the flavor of melt-in-your-mouth steak, but don't have the time to go to the steakatorium.
Posted: Jun. 07, 2013
Emancipate your thirst
When you've got a thirst that makes you feel like you've been working for free for someone else for years, pick up a jug of the great Thirst Emancipator!
Posted: May. 30, 2013
Martin Luther King Day!
Happy birthday to Martin Luther King, Junior.
Posted: Jan. 16, 2012