Because you's broke.
Ever been so broke you couldn't even afford name-brand ramen noodles? Well, HONKmart® has the product for you! Stock up at the low, low price of 2 cents each. ...
Posted: Aug. 02, 2018
Corporate History: Arby's
Ah, Arby's. The humble meat-themed fast foodery. They truly experienced the struggle to get their business off the ground....
Posted: Jun. 02, 2018
I had this idea that a cut disk of pizza could serve as a perfect replacement for all the standard-method garnishes usually found on a burger. Onions, tomatoes, mushrooms... they could all be added in...
Posted: Nov. 11, 2017
What do I feed my ferret?! Anyone who owns a a stretch-rat knows they'll eat just about anything, but there are certain things you just shouldn't be feeding them.
Posted: Aug. 15, 2017
For the woman on the go who wants to get something to eat. TV dinners join the 21st century with these bold new offerings....
Posted: Jul. 19, 2017
New from Taco Bell
New from Taco Bell® comes the latest in a line of co-branded taste treats. You've had the Doritos® Locos Taco, and the Nude Chicken Taco, well now it's time to slide down the mountain with our new E...
Posted: Jun. 16, 2017
You're tired, the kids are shrieking because they're hungry, and all you have are some odds and ends in the refrigerator. What's a working mom to do? Well, with new DogMAGIC™, you can serve fresh ho...
Posted: Apr. 19, 2017
An associate of mine started making wraps with popcorn and cheese. A dubious concept, for sure, but even the oddest idea needs marketing. Also, I'm not all that sure this is really a bad idea...
Posted: Oct. 26, 2016
Girl Scout cookies
So the total nutball "health" zealot known as the "Food Babe" has struck a blow against the time-tested indulgence known as Girl Scout cookies, filling the internet with deceit and paranoid delusions....
Posted: Jan. 22, 2016
Sometimes, you're in a rush. It's modern times, and nobody ever has time to devote their full attention to anything anymore! Crazy to think you can sit even your own family down for ten, or even five ...
Posted: Aug. 07, 2015
I can vouch for the veracity of this bit of ancient wisdom....
Posted: Jul. 28, 2015
Ever the innovators, Apple has managed to blow the lid off the breakfast market with its snazzy new iFood. For a reasonably modest entry cost (plus subscription fees), you too can own the breakfast ce...
Posted: Jul. 23, 2015
We all know that this particular foodstuff was invented specifically to provide entertainment for your gastro-intestinal tract.
Posted: Jan. 24, 2015
Can memes sell meals? I don't know, but I tried to come up with a fast-food platter that would use everyone's favorite cheeky Internet shiba inu to sell chicken.
Posted: Feb. 07, 2014
Burger King's getting creepy
So, I was in a phase of doing odd things with pop-culture figures, and so I decided to utilize all the worst from the fast-food industry. The Burger King was already creepy, so I guess he's just telli...
Posted: Jul. 23, 2013