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Contrary to popular media sentiment, BOTH sexes can use plastic googly eyes to accentuate their genitalia.


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Choose #3





Yet another in a line of "Choose Your Own Adventure" stories. Man, I sure loved these as a kid. I must have read them all. ...



Posted: Jun. 12, 2017

Choose Again





Another in a series of children's adventure books where you pick the uncomfortable, disgusting, and therapy-inducing ending. A lovely summer read....



Posted: Jun. 02, 2017

Choose Your Destiny





I always loved those books where you get to pick the outcome. In this tale, someone made a shitty joke, and now everyone has to attend a mandatory seminar. Dodge the perils of the office as you attemp...



Posted: May. 17, 2017

Romance Novel #2





Ah, the treasure people leave behind at bus stops. ...



Posted: May. 13, 2017

My first what now?





Living in a police state as we do, it's sometimes tough to explain certain concepts to kids. Concepts like why an authority figure might need to thumb their buttholes for reasons of security, and why ...



Posted: Apr. 21, 2017

Parenting Books





Parenting is tough, and nobody wants to foster the growth of another generation of inept adult children. What to do? Well, a behavioral therapist has shared her advice in this new book. I can't put it...



Posted: Apr. 03, 2017

Romance Novel





Ah, the world of romance novels. Where fantasy artists get a break from drawing dragons for D&D manuals, and instead draw flowy dresses, huge pecs, and open shirts for a little change of pace. Like th...



Posted: Jun. 22, 2016

Yearbook Predictions





Kids these days have a wide range of futures open to them. A truly modern yearbook embraces trends, and has categories relevant to more likely futures than just the standard "likely to succeed" or "li...



Posted: Mar. 21, 2016

Psycho Couple Bingo





We all have them on our lists. Sometimes it's because they were good friends once, sometimes it's because they are just pure entertainment. Either way, I'm talking about the sickeningly dysfunctional ...



Posted: Mar. 14, 2016

Little Golden Books





We all remember those Little Golden Books, right? Well, guess who decided to write one? I think my first submission will be well-received by the publishing house, and I will be able to continue to tea...



Posted: Nov. 30, 2015

What about ghosts?





I have always had an affinity for the paranormal, so I decided to write a book about the spirit world, and how to interface with it, in order to communicate. And by "communicate," I of course mean to ...



Posted: Aug. 18, 2015

The Little Engine...





Children's books should tackle more complicated subjects. They shouldn't just be empty collections of platitudes and lessons in being yourself. News flash: being yourself gets you nowhere!

So, natu...



Posted: Jun. 26, 2015

Children's Book





So, they* asked me to write a children's book, to entertain the youngsters at dentists' offices the world over.

I decided to take the approach of explaining real-world intricacies in terms kids can...



Posted: Feb. 06, 2014

Helping the Special People





The original title of this book was "Helping The Retarded To Know God."

Not much better, eh? Still exploitative as hell, but there's not even any direct money in that, unlike staffing a brothel wit...



Posted: Jun. 13, 2013

The Fucking Tree





I had to do my own take on a timeless children's classic.

In this case, though, the tree isn't a doormat and a pushover, and doesn't let that kid use him and fuck up his entire life. But, the tree ...



Posted: Feb. 17, 2012

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